


new constellations

by autumnmycat



Category: Xenosaga
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbians in Space, Non-Human Genitalia, Porn with Feelings, Realizing You and All Your Friends Are Gay, Shion has U-DO sickness, Shion's in denial about literally everything, Sickfic, well except for the gay thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:13:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27730585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnmycat/pseuds/autumnmycat
Summary: Even though KOS-MOS's expression rarely changes and her voice rarely portrays emotion, Shion knows that it's impossible for nothing to be there. Kevin said she could develop a pulse, and whether or not he was lying, she believes it with all her heart.
Relationships: KOS-MOS/Shion Uzuki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	1. stardew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm is coming, I feel it in my scars, and in the morning we’ll wonder where we are.

She’d been resting on the bench next to KOS-MOS, but she wasn’t sure why she was there or for what reason. Shion just sort of woke up there.

And, more specifically, what woke her up was the depressurization of KOS-MOS’s maintenance pod. It yanked her out of her dreams so hard that she wasn’t fully awake when she rushed over and was met with brilliant red eyes.

“Good morning, Shion.”

Despite her disorientation, Shion smiled. She noticed that she had a headache, even though she'd just woken up from a nap.

“Good morning, KOS-MOS. How do you feel?”

“Charge is at 100% capacity. Safety is on. Weapons output is at 34%. Error logs 1 through 475 state—”

“Oh, no, that’s fine. I already know about your error reports,” Shion giggled.

But, why did she always giggle around her? It was pretty unprofessional. Not that KOS-MOS would care, but it looked bad in front of others. In here, though, away from prying eyes, she could give into the desire she had to reach out and touch her. She placed a hand on her cheek, feeling the cold smoothness of her artificial skin.

All she was met with was a blank face. Nothing. No one. Just her.

The words came out of her without her permission, but she wanted some kind of emotional feedback even though she knew she would never receive it.

“Have I ever told you I care about you, KOS-MOS?”

“Yes. Approximately eight days ago, during our simulated combat run, you ordered an analysis of my emotional capacity.”

“I don’t mean that. Regardless of our missions, have I said anything like that before?”

“Negative.”

Her sigh was almost a hush to her own words.

“I like you, KOS-MOS.”

She laid there. No expression. No feeling. Nothing.

But, still, she said, “I like you, too, Shion.”

“That’s very sweet of you to say.”

It wasn’t a real confession, not in the slightest. Shion knew how difficult it would be to extract any real meaning from her words.

And, yet…

What could she do when the android without a heart started acting like she had one?

There was no one she could confide in because they would have all thought she was crazy. KOS-MOS? A heart? Kevin was the only one who had ever believed that was possible, and she hadn’t even thought it was at the time.

Her eyes. Empty. Distant. Cold. But, there were fleeting glances. She swore she had seen a flicker of something in them from time to time. She couldn’t tell anyone about it, though.

There was a feeling that even Shion didn’t understand—a pulling, aching sensation in her chest. Every time she was away from her, she felt sad, angry, stifled. She wanted KOS-MOS by her side no matter what, and okay, maybe it was a problem and maybe she was selfish, but no one had to know, and she never had to say it out loud.

KOS-MOS sat up and turned so she could stand. Shion always forgot that she was a good few inches taller than her, and even though it wasn't much of a height difference, it was one of the details she liked about her design. Of course, her specifications were mostly her doing, but it wasn’t as if she still couldn’t enjoy it.

Okay, she needed to pull back. It’s one thing to appreciate KOS-MOS’s aesthetics, but this was a little ridiculous.

Shion stared into her eyes, into the lens in which she perceived the world, and she swore that there had to be something behind them.

“You are staring at me.”

“Aha…sorry about that.” She looked down, dropped her hand, tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear, and felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. “I was thinking.”

“What is it you are thinking about?”

In a quiet voice, she said, “You.”

“I see.”

“I’m glad we can work together.”

“As do I, Shion.”

“I miss you when we’re separated.”

“I also enjoy our missions.”

These were all positive statements, ways of expressing her feelings in a way she understood. It was something. She wasn’t going to start waxing poetry, at least not for a very long time.

“KOS-MOS, can I…” She met her red eyes again, and something about them made it difficult to breathe. “…Can I hug you?”

“You wish to engage in physical contact as to communicate affection and comfort?”

Shion couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re so funny sometimes. But, yes. That’s what I mean.”

“There is no reason I can think of to prevent me from doing so.”

“Alright. Come here.”

Their embrace was strange because KOS-MOS was stiff and much stronger than Shion was, but as time passed, her grip softened into something more human-like. Maybe she was analyzing how she was being hugged and using that information to change her technique. Shion didn’t really care. She enjoyed the feeling regardless of how ‘correct’ it was. Because it was KOS-MOS. It was all she ever wanted.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying that you’re beautiful.”

KOS-MOS did not answer at first. Shion felt nervous butterflies shove themselves into her stomach.

“I do not mind.”

“Okay, good. I was afraid you were going to be offended.”

She placed a hand on her cheek, and the way red eyes stared her down felt like it was different somehow. Technically, there was no change in her face, but maybe it was _how_ she looked at her. She looked like she understood something, like she knew a secret about the universe that only she did.

“Your hand is warm.”

“Your skin is cool.”

“It is synthetic,” KOS-MOS stated.

“I know,” she giggled. “I built you.”

Shion liked how she stated the obvious, how she paused before answering a question, how she said her name with such urgency when she called it. They were things that were uniquely ‘her,’ and the fondness Shion had for her quirks made her thankful for KOS-MOS’s presence.

KOS-MOS reached up and cupped her hand over the one on her cheek. The sensation of cold over her hand made her shiver.

Shion had a gut feeling that they were on the same page. Maybe their wavelengths resonated with each other. Whatever the reason, they both leaned in, and their lips met in a chaste kiss.

It only lasted a moment because Shion jerked backward, realizing what she’d just done.

“Oh—I'm...sorry, KOS-MOS, I don’t know what got into me all of a sudden.”

KOS-MOS looked back at her questioningly, head slightly tilted, expression blank.

“Did you not want to make that sort of contact with me?”

Shion blinked in shock before waving her hands in front of her face.

“No, no, no! That’s not it at all. I was being inappropriate, and I…”

“I do not possess any directives regarding physical contact. Therefore, your guidance would be appreciated.”

“Ah, I suppose you wouldn’t.” She sighed. “I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing, especially because you…I helped make you and…”

KOS-MOS’s face was as blank as it always was.

She tried again.

“How do you feel about it, KOS-MOS? I don’t want to make you feel bad either way. And, I’m not interested in doing something you don’t want.”

“I did not dislike it.”

“So, you…want to kiss me?”

KOS-MOS blinked.

“Yes.”

This time, Shion deliberately threw her arms around her shoulders and kissed her.

Kissing KOS-MOS wasn’t like kissing a human. Her mouth was slick, but she didn’t produce saliva like humans did. A film didn’t sound very sexy, but that’s kind of what it was—a coating that was slick and glossy and accepted the brush of Shion’s tongue against hers. It also felt like little bursts of static along her skin. The insides of KOS-MOS were pins and needles that shocked her body.

It felt really good.

She was _literally_ electric, so it wasn’t surprising when her lips started feeling numb by the constant assault of her skin, but weirdly enough, she kind of liked it. It was…strange, but she liked it, and really, that was all Shion cared about in this moment. The sound she made was somewhat muted by KOS-MOS’s mouth.

“ _Mmmhmm_ …”

KOS-MOS had been stiff and unyielding at first, but just like her hug, her kiss became soft and pliant. Shion couldn’t help but stand there and twist so her thighs rubbed together. She shouldn't have been, but she was so turned on by this. She was wet, and her body throbbed, and the hands around her waist stung, and—

They were still in lip-lock when the sliding door opened.

“Whoa!”

Shion shot away from KOS-MOS, stumbling backward for a moment before turning to the person in the doorway.

“Allen?”

He blinked, mouth open, words caught somewhere between his brain and throat.

“C-Chief—?”

KOS-MOS looked at Shion and then Allen and then back to Shion questioningly. She did not understand the situation.

Slowly, Allen backed up until he was out of the threshold and the door closed with a _swish_ and a _ding!_

* * *

“We, uh, really messed that up didn’t we?”

Shion was sitting on the bench of the maintenance lab, forearms leaning on her knees. KOS-MOS looked at her.

“Was Allen not supposed to see what we were doing?”

“Um. Something like that,” Shion sounded defeated and tired and just generally despondent. “Half of it is that I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to hurt other people either, and…”

She walked over and sat next to Shion on the bench, her eyes focused on where the wall met the ceiling.

“You have not hurt me. And, you have not hurt Allen.”

“I suppose that’s true, but…”

“You have hesitations.”

To be fair, that was true about a lot of things. She leaned over so her head met KOS-MOS’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I should have never involved you in something like this. It’s ultimately my fault.”

“I still do not understand what was wrong.”

There was no way to accurately explain it to her. So much of being human was about petty misunderstandings and hurt feelings. For someone as logical as KOS-MOS, there wasn’t much to say.

But, she’d at least try.

“It’s not…great that a lead programmer wants to have non-platonic contact with their creation. And, Allen—I think he’d judge me the most for it.”

“What is the moral quandary?”

“Well, since I helped create you, I could take advantage of you or hurt you in a way that you wouldn’t even be able to understand, and that—it does terrify me. I don’t want to do something like that, and if I ever did that, I don’t know how I could live with myself, and—“

Suddenly, she was pushed down on the floor, and KOS-MOS was looming over her.

“Shion,” she said softly, “do people assume you’re physically stronger than me?”

Shion wiggled her toes in her boots.

“N-No, of course not. But, you can hurt people in other ways. Like, manipulating them or making them do things they don’t want to do, and…” the cool temperature of the floor felt good when she let her head roll against it, “I don’t want that to be the case between us. I want us to trust each other, and—”

Her hand pressed hard on her ribs. Shion cried out in surprise.

“ _Ah—!_ ”

(KOS-MOS could kill her right here and now. She was in one of the most vulnerable positions a person could be, and she had a 120kg android on top of her and—)

“Are you concerned that I will harm you?”

It was an astute analysis, but she’d expect nothing less from her. Still, Shion was curious.

“Huh?”

“Your heart rate. Your respiratory rate. Your adrenaline levels. They are similar to those you have in battle.”

How could she describe that it wasn’t “fear” exactly but more like nervous anticipation? She knew KOS-MOS would not hurt her, and in fact, it was impossible for her to do so. Shion was closer to excited than she was to scared.

“N-No, I’m never scared of you, KOS-MOS. You just surprised me, that’s all.”

“I see.”

Her hand was cold enough that she could feel it through her dress, and it gave her goosebumps. KOS-MOS was looking at her body so intensely, and if Shion felt any shame in front of her, she might have blushed. However, this was what she (secretly) always hoped would happen. Their destinies had been intertwined by Kevin, and she had always wished that there was love in that destiny.

Slowly, KOS-MOS leaned down and rested her head on Shion’s chest, careful not to put all her weight on her tiny body. She closed her eyes as if she were thinking intensely, but for all she knew, KOS-MOS was intrigued by her bodily functions. Of course, she knew about all the features of human physiology by design, but there’s a difference between knowing something and experiencing it.

“What exactly are you listening for?”

She didn’t open her eyes.

“The sound is pleasant.”

“The sound?”

“The sound of your heart beating. I detect it is elevated from the normal resting heart rate range of 60 to 100 beats per minute.”

That bubbly giggle rose up in her again. KOS-MOS could be so strange sometimes.

“And, you are not in fear?”

“No, I’m not scared of you,” she repeated.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, KOS-MOS lifted her head up.

“Shion.”

“Yes, KOS-MOS?”

She was completely deadpan like she always was.

“Are you sexually aroused?”

Shion choked on nothing.

“—E-Excuse me?”

“If you are not scared, and you are not in pain, the only other reason for your physiologically stimulated state is arousal.”

This time, Shion did blush but more from surprise than embarrassment.

“Um, I-I…that’s an inappropriate thing to ask someone, KOS-MOS.”

“I am sorry, Shion. It was not my intention to upset you.”

“I’m not upset. I just don’t want you to make a habit of asking other people that question.”

“Order acknowledged.”

“Although, I am glad that you’re expressing curiosity.”

Blank red eyes stared at her. She didn’t move. Her hands were still placed on the floor on either side of her shoulders.

“What are you thinking about, now, KOS-MOS?”

“I am calculating the possible reasons for your change in state.”

Even though she knew she shouldn’t encourage this behavior, there was something devilish in Shion that wanted to egg her on, that wanted her to put two and two together.

“I never said you were wrong.”

She blinked.

“You are aroused?”

“It’s possible.”

“You are aroused by my actions?”

“Hmm…”

This teasing may have been obvious to Shion, but it seemed to have perplexed the poor android.

“I am afraid I do not understand.”

Shion giggled again. “Remember when I said I liked you, KOS-MOS?”

“Yes, Shion.”

She wrapped her arms around KOS-MOS’s shoulders and smiled.

“Well, I really, really like you.”

It was also very funny to Shion that KOS-MOS stared down at her blankly and in her normal canter asked, “You are sexually attracted to me?”

Her face softened. “Yes, KOS-MOS.”

She blinked back to her.

“Do you want me to kiss you, Shion?”

“Yes.”

And, so she did.

Yes, she was being pinned to the ground by an Anti-Gnosis Battle Android—a hand on her shoulder, a knee between her legs, a soft kiss that melted into her—but no part of her was scared. In fact, she ground her hips into KOS-MOS’s knee and her mewl was stifled by her mouth. It seemed she had learned how to kiss _fairly_ well just from that one other time, which was incredibly impressive considering she never programed that sort of thing into her.

It felt good because she was being physically stimulated, so of course it would, but it also felt good because she wanted this so, so badly on another level entirely. They were disorganized in the way that sometimes they wouldn’t completely catch each other’s lips and sometimes their teeth would click together, but neither one of them cared, and it was sort of hot that there was so much desperation present.

“KOS-MOS…let me…”

They switched spots, moving so that Shion was on top of KOS-MOS now, but for a moment, all she did was look down lovingly at blue hair and red eyes.

“Yes, Shion?”

“It’s nothing,” she murmured, placing a sweet kiss on her temple and then on her cheekbone and then the edge of her jaw bone, and KOS-MOS made several strange movements that Shion could only describe as twitches.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said but nothing else.

“Can I…?”

“Yes.”

She kissed KOS-MOS’s throat, her collar bone, her sternum, and then—

“What is this, Shion?”

Shion pulled away.

“Huh?”

“I do not understand what I’m feeling.”

Shion sat up, realizing she was straddling her own android and...

“I’m sorry KOS-MOS, I shouldn’t have—”

“I don’t dislike it. I only do not understand.”

“Well,” she breathed, “I’m not sure what you’re feeling either.”

She reached up and grabbed Shion’s breast. It didn’t hurt, but again, it was surprising.

“This. What is...this?”

Shion blinked down at her.

The question seemed ridiculous, but then she had to remind herself that KOS-MOS wouldn’t know about sexuality. At least, not if Kevin wasn’t a total pervert.

“It’s pleasure, KOS-MOS.”

“Pleasure? I do not know the sensation of ‘pleasure.’”

She said it like it was a foreign word, and to be honest, it probably was.

“If you want to cry out because something feels so good, that’s pleasure. Or, even if you enjoy doing things and being around people—that’s pleasure, too.”

“It feels strange.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Her answer was firm.

“No.”

“What do you want to do?”

Blank face. But, audible whirling.

“More.”

Shion wanted nothing else than to give KOS-MOS more.

“God, you’re so hot, KOS-MOS.”

“The fact that you feel that way gives me pleasure.”

Despite the fact that it sounded completely ridiculous, especially when so metallic and unfeeling, Shion couldn’t hold back a moan. Well, she could because she had practiced for decades to not be too loud, but she trusted KOS-MOS so implicitly that she didn’t feel the need to hold back.

“It gives me pleasure to hear you say that.”

“Pleasure is a strange phenomenon.”

“Yes, being human is strange.”

She hadn’t thought about the implications of what she had just said before she said it, but even with no change in expression, she could tell that KOS-MOS was shocked. Why wouldn’t she be? KOS-MOS did not believe she was human. Shion wasn’t sure if she was herself.

(But, Shion knew she could develop a pulse, develop a life inside her. Whether or not Kevin was telling the truth, Shion believed it with all her heart.)

Shion leaned down, brushing her nose against the simulated skin of KOS-MOS’s sternum. She couldn’t help but inhale and appreciate how she smelled. Clean, synthetic— _good._

She continued onto her neck and then into the hair on the side of her head. So good. She wanted nothing more than to be with her right now.

When humans are attracted to each other, they release pheromones that can’t be consciously detected, so it usually manifests in the attraction to a partner’s scent. KOS-MOS could not produce such a phenomenon, but Shion was aware that the smell of her iridescent hair and the various part of her skin triggered scent memory, triggered her heart to beat faster.

“I want you so badly, KOS-MOS.”

In an almost human-like canter, she said, “You already have me, Shion.”

It was shocking. Shion felt like she couldn’t breathe. She hovered above her in a moment of stillness as if she was making sure that she wasn’t just hearing things.

Even after pausing, the only this she could think to do was to take her lips with her own once again.

It was more chaste this time, more like pressing their skin together, but it was also quick and fleeting because Shion sat up and lightly touched KOS-MOS’s neck.

She unhooked the zipper from her collar and pulled it down to where it stopped right before her abdomen stuck her suit to her body. It didn’t really matter, though, because it was enough for her breasts to free themselves from their confines.

It wasn’t like Shion hadn’t ever noticed that she was rather well endowed, but she’d never seen her half-naked in a sexual context, and it was a lot to take in. A light touch told her that it didn’t feel quite like a human breast, but rather like a part of her frame that was built to be softer than the rest of her.

“Does it feel good when I touch you here?”

KOS-MOS’s eyes flicked down and then up again.

“I find that the fact you are touching me to be more pleasurable than the location specifically.”

“Oh, even here?” Her thumb brushed softly against KOS-MOS’s nipple. Once again, it did not feel particularly familiar.

“Yes, I’m sorry that I do not conform to your previous experiences.”

Even though it was said so clinically, Shion felt her heart break in her chest. She hadn’t meant to make her feel bad.

“No, no, don’t be sorry.” She tilted her head sympathetically. “I’m only trying to make you feel good. Your body is so different than mine, so I have to keep asking. Is there anywhere that you think might be better?”

KOS-MOS’s processors began whirling again.

“I am unsure.”

“What about…here?”

Her hand drifted down to her stomach, to the raised bumps that were reminiscent of the muscles of a human abdomen.

“That area does feel slightly strange.”

“This is the part of you that opens up, right?”

“Yes.”

“Can you open it up without shooting out beams or whatever those are?”

“Yes.”

Shion quickly sat back on her knees because she began to do exactly that.

It looked somewhat like a flower opening its petals or a bug splaying its legs—but it did look more like petals, in her opinion. In the middle was an oblong space that looked similar to a long diamond surrounded by pink gold. The rest of her was objectively fleshy looking. It was different than anything she was used to, but not so different that she didn’t have any guesses.

“Oh, you’re so beautiful, KOS-MOS.”

And, she honestly meant it, too. She looked so beautiful even when just laying there.

“Thank you, Shion.”

“Can I touch you?”

“I would like it if you did.”

“Okay.”

She slowly let her fingertips trail, first, on the outsides of the "petals," which didn't get much of a response, and then around the dark outline slightly more inward.

KOS-MOS’s breath caught.

“Was that okay?”

“It did not inspire much sensation,” she said matter-of-factly. Shion took a breath or two, not sure how to talk about it.

“But, it didn’t upset you or hurt you, did it?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

There was no change until she touched the flesh-looking part around her middle, and that was the first time that she made an obviously involuntary sound.

“That’s still okay, too?”

“Yes.”

And, then, there was the middle, which—in Shion’s opinion—didn’t look too different from female genitalia. Well, it was strange, but she was only concerned because she didn’t quite understand what would feel good.

Tracing a finger on the white, metallic edge, KOS-MOS shuddered mechanically.

“Is it sensitive here?”

“You are palpitating the insides of my body.”

Shion tried to hold back a laugh but ultimately failed.

“Yeah, that’s kind of what sex is.”

“Is this sex?”

Instead of laughing this time, Shion was left without words.

“Oh. Um.”

KOS-MOS’s eyes were wide, crimson, and probing. Of course, she wouldn’t understand. Even most humans don’t understand what sexuality really means or the significance of it. They don’t think about it or explore it because it’s not usually necessary. But, having to explain the concept to someone who was functionally an adult felt like she was giving The Talk to someone older than her.

“Sex is…intimacy.” Shion frowned. “It can be all kinds of things. It’s if it’s nice, and you want to be with someone. Someone touching you isn’t necessarily sex, but also, I don’t know exactly how to apply these kinds of things to someone not made for that…”

“I was not made for you, Shion?”

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. Even in her monotone voice, there was sadness. Or, maybe Shion was imagining it.

“Oh…that’s not what I mean. But, also, you weren’t made for me. You were made for yourself. You get to decide what you want to be.”

Her face didn’t change, but Shion knew that she was running several dozen processes through her mind.

She finally decided on her words.

“I want to be for you, Shion.”

Shion gasped and had to control her hips that she wanted to roll so badly.

She finally decided on her words.

“I want to be for you, too, KOS-MOS.”

She leaned down and her tongue ran over the fleshy part, and KOS-MOS shook in a way that could be mistaken for organic. She let out a constant stream of small noises that were similar to how she sounded when being hit with an attack, and Shion would be lying if she said it wasn’t incredibly hot, whatever that meant about her.

She licked on one side, brushed her hand over her—

What were they actually? She had never known they could open up, not until she destroyed all those Gnosis’ at least.

There are flowers that only open in the sunshine. The Gazania Daisy was a type on Old Militia, and they would stay closed at night, but bloomed red with blue vines in the day. It was so much like KOS-MOS that she almost felt nostalgia for a time long past even though everything about her was so new.

She tasted metallic like blood—fleshy but mechanical. It somehow made it hotter, like she was getting to taste something that only she could. It was kind of fucked up, but—Oh, God—she loved how running her tongue over her abdomen made her tremble.

Out of instinct, she moved her hand to the white center where she could absorb and expel beams of light and slipped a single finger into the divot.

Instantly, she shot away, flower petals folding back like it had turned to night. Shion didn’t know how to respond. KOS-MOS didn’t either.

“I do not understand,” she said. Shion didn’t either.

She couldn’t help but be concerned.

“KOS-MOS—did I hurt you?”

She looked at a blank face. Her eyes were always wide, but they somehow looked wider now.

“No.”

“Then, what upset you?”

“I do not know. I do not understand.”

Shion tilted her head questioningly.

“Did it feel bad? Or, did it feel good?”

Her eyes adjusted audibly like a camera lens.

“Strange.”

“Bad strange, or good strange?”

She paused.

“Good strange.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Negative. I only do not understand.”

Yeah, that made sense. If she’d never felt something like that before and someone suddenly caused it, she would be freaked out, too.

“Alright.” She tugged up her Vector dress up over her hips, and even though she was still in her tights and underwear, she felt a new type of throbbing inside her. She’d been resisting it before, but she gave in, moving her hips against nothing. “You can…if it makes you feel more comfortable, you can do it to me, and then you can decide if it’s too ‘bad of a strange.’”

KOS-MOS blinked at her. Shion hesitated.

“Do you want to do that?”

“Will it bring you pleasure?”

“Yes.” She couldn’t help but let her answer out as a breath. “But, it’s not an order. You get to decide.”

There was more whirling, but it was quieter this time. She didn’t need to think very hard to come to a conclusion.

“I am more than willing to please you however you’d like, Shion.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Yes.”

She sighed. As crude as it was, she was glad that was her answer because now she really wanted KOS-MOS to fuck her.

She stood up and took off her shoes before preceding to shimmy out of her undergarments and laying back down. Maybe she should have been embarrassed when she opened her legs and spread herself in front of her, but she couldn’t feel anything but want and need.

“It’s like you, KOS-MOS, just in a different place.”

Shion could hear her processors whirling much louder. It implied that she was trying to understand but couldn’t.

“And, you want me to cause the same experience that you did me?”

“If you want to.” Shion rubbed at her cheek as she flushed. “You can do whatever you want. You can use your fingers or tongue, it can be inside or outside…”

“Understood.”

With one leg hooked under her arm and the other one over her shoulder, KOS-MOS leaned down and placed her face between her legs.

Shion shouted much too loudly, and she knew it, but KOS-MOS’s lips felt electric. A shock. A vibration. A burst of static. It felt nothing like the mouth of a human.

“O-Oh my God—”

Shion lifted her head up from the ground and looked at her. KOS-MOS’s nose rested perfectly on her pubic bone, wide eyes closed, working methodically. The soft whirling of her systems felt like a hum against her.

(She had imagined this happening so many times that the scene in front of her was surreal. She knew she should feel ashamed for wanting to fuck something she created, but the feelings that had been welling up inside her made her turn off her conscience. Her mind only said, _I want her—I want her—I want her._ )

Before she knew what she was doing, she threaded her fingers through KOS-MOS’s hair and grabbed hard. As much as she was definitely, almost, probably not developing human-like responses, KOS-MOS grunted as if she felt an actual spark of empathetic pleasure.

She rocked against her. It was unintentional, but something about how she worked her tongue was—for lack of a better word—technical. Somehow, though, it was hypnotic, just so fucking good. She wanted to know where KOS-MOS learned to eat pussy because it certainly wasn’t from Kevin, not to speak ill of the dead.

“Oh, fuck.”

KOS-MOS made a low and contented sound into her. It was almost too much and becoming difficult to stop herself from giving in. She was peaking much too quickly for her own liking.

“Oh, I’m gonna—I’m gonna come— _oh—_ ”

KOS-MOS probably didn’t know exactly what that meant, but she didn’t stop, and Shion was infinitely grateful because it was just incredible. This was everything she ever wanted, and—and—

“KOS-MOS, that’s—!”

She seemed to like the sound of her name spoken with such desperation because she let out a small moan herself. Shion’s mind spun various variations of ( _She’s so fucking hot—how can she be this hot—_ ). It might've been a sign that she was way farther gone with this battle android than she’d previously thought.

Shion's back arched, head tilting back, eyes rolling upward. She stared at the wall behind her, feeling the overwhelming sensations rise in her.

“KOS—” Her voice caught in a strangled breath, the rest of her name silent. The next sound she made was close to a squeal. Then, she began shaking, pulling much too hard on her hair, but KOS-MOS had a high pain tolerance, so it probably barely occurred to her.

And, even as she was coming, KOS-MOS didn’t let up. Although she had started sucking her much more softly, that wasn’t much of a consolation when she had become so sensitive.

“Oh my God, you’re so good,” she babbled. “It’s so good—oh my God.”

Slowly, it all died down, but Shion felt like she might have been out of her mind. And, also, there was KOS-MOS.

Her hair was mussed up from Shion’s grip. Strands of blue hair flew out in every direction, and her lips were slick from her enthusiasm, and even though KOS-MOS didn’t have to breathe, her breath was hard and fast.

God, Shion wasn’t sure if she’d seen anything so sexy in her entire life.

“Come here.”

She did, crawling forward and observing her curiously. Shion liked that about her. She was always wondering about the world she lived in, and she could tell when her expression questioned what was happening.

KOS-MOS leaned down and kissed her again.

Her lips felt familiar and natural now, and they relaxed into Shion’s, and there hadn't been a time that she felt so elated since that one night with Kevin where he bestowed his mother’s necklace onto her. And, even then, it didn’t feel quite like this.

This felt like one of the best moments of her life.

She couldn’t help herself. When KOS-MOS pulled back, light blue hair brushing the sides of her face, Shion stared into her eyes and murmured, “I love you, KOS-MOS.”

The android’s mouth parted slightly, a hint that she was probably taken aback by the words. It was such a minute change in her expression, but for KOS-MOS, it was monumental. She leaned down again, planting a small kiss on Shion lips before pulling away.

“Shion,” she said softly, “what does love feel like?”

She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, the sensation of pure joy rolling over her.

“Bliss.”

“I’m afraid I’m unsure what such a feeling entails.”

Shion opened her eyes and smiled.

“That’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find your own way to love eventually. Everybody experiences love differently.”

“I see.”

“It’s your turn now, though.”

Shion got on top of her now and said, “Can I touch you like that again?”

She only breathed for a second before she said, “Yes.”

KOS-MOS opened up, and Shion felt so excited even she probably shouldn’t have.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” she asks.

KOS-MOS’s hand hovered just above her exposed abdomen.

“There?”

“Yes.”

So, she did. She traced around the prominently raised parts of her, and KOS-MOS made a sound that was between a moan and a gasp of pain.

“Did that hurt?”

“No.”

She traced closer to that middle, and even though she was being rather quiet, she kept breathing increasingly harder.

“Alright. What about here?”

Shion licked her center liberally, and that was the reaction that got the most out of her.

“ _Hmmhh—!_ ”

“Did you like that?”

KOS-MOS stayed silent until she she slid her fingers around the raised ridge and ran her tongue on the other side.

It was strange to hear KOS-MOS make such noises. The only times she heard anything other than the robotic timbre of her words was in battle. Being hit by an enemy’s attack resulted in grunts and cries of pain, which in retrospect, sounded very similar to the ones she was making now.

It was because of this and the way that her eyes weren’t focused on anything in particular, and her face was lax, and her lips were parted that she looked almost human. It was a state she’d never previously seen her in, and Shion was very thankful that she was the one who got experience it.

“Does it feel good, KOS-MOS?” Shion asked, her fingers stroking the flesh-looking parts of her opened abdominal cavity. After she said it, she went back to licking that divot in the middle.

“ _Ah!_ ” her back arched and her body quivered slightly. “F-Feels…good…” Her voice sounded strangled like it was difficult to speak and she was forcing out words. “Shion’s…tongue is…”

It made sense that she didn’t have the words to articulate herself, but if her facial expressions and the way she shook meant anything, it probably was pleasurable. She was very glad that KOS-MOS was feeling good.

Shion was feeling her lust build up again, the insides of her throbbing, and she wanted to be filled with something. Her options were a bit limited, so she chose to put her hand between her legs. She was still extremely wet, which—well, she hadn’t thought about it before but Shion liked the sensation of touching a wet pussy and not just because she was touching herself.

Huh, maybe she was a little gayer than she thought.

No matter. Her fingers slipped inside her easily, and she groaned into KOS-MOS’s abdomen. Just like KOS-MOS’s whirling, the vibration of her voice on a place so sensitive made her whine. It spurred Shion on, becoming more aggressive with how she licked her.

“Unh, KOS-MOS,” she moaned, curling her fingers when she pressed inside herself so she could hit that spot that lit up the room with stars. She didn’t stop attending to KOS-MOS, so her sweet nothings were muttered into her abdomen, “Mmm…being with you…is so… _uhn_ …” Her breath shuddered, “I wish this could…last forever…”

Something about how she touched her and spoke to her, something about that must have struck a cord.

“Shion, Shion…Shion! _Shion!_ ”

“Are you gonna come, KOS-MOS?”

She probably did not know or understand what that meant, so she simply didn’t respond. However, that didn’t mean she was being silent.

“Oh…” KOS-MOS put a hand on Shion’s head as she began to tremble. “ _Oh!_ ”

God, it was so hot to see KOS-MOS like this—just totally out of her mind. She pushed her fingers deeper inside herself, feeling a throb of pleasure at her noises, and little gasps, and the sound of her name. It made her want to come again so badly, but she had to wait for KOS-MOS.

“You can come— _uhn_ —it’s alright to come,” she said softly. “I want you…to come for me, KOS-MOS.”

And, with a bit more attention, she did.

“Oh, _oh! Oh—!_ ”

Shion had to pull back because her abdomen snapped shut immediately. KOS-MOS’s back arched and her feet pointed and her eyes clenched shut and finally, she let out this sound—a pained yelp—and curled in on herself, hugging herself as if she had a stomach ache.

But, uh…that was probably not what she was experiencing.

“Are you alright, KOS-MOS?” Her breathing had gotten heavy again, and the warmth caused by the flush on her cheeks made her mind feel hazy. “Was it good?” She removed her fingers from herself so she could shuffle over and look at her. “KOS-MOS?”

Her red eyes opened slowly, and her expression was as blank as ever, but she still held her middle almost protectively.

“Shion…”

Slowly, she uncurled and sat up. She looked more like she was surprised than anything else. Maybe even bewildered. Shion tilted her head worriedly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong. It is difficult to articulate new experiences.”

“Oh.”

KOS-MOS was the one to look at her now.

“You are still aroused,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Oh, well, I…” She looked down at how her thighs were still bare and how her vector uniform was hiked up above her hips. Now that she realized she was still half-naked, she did feel a little embarrassed. “I…didn’t come that last time, that’s all. It’s not…”

She grabbed Shion by the waist and pulled her close. It caught her off guard.

“Huh—?”

KOS-MOS's voice was soft and affectionate when she said, “I want you to be satisfied, Shion.”

Her heart flipped over in her chest. It also didn’t help the throbbing inside her. Her face somehow got hotter, but it was only because she loved KOS-MOS so dearly that her entire body reacted violently towards her words.

“What is it that you’d like me to do, Shion?”

She rose to her knees so she could swing her arms around her shoulders and drape from her neck. She swore she’d never been so turned on in her entire life.

“Inside me,” she panted. “Your fingers—please.”

“Of course. Whatever you'd like.”

Instead of inserting them like Shion had done earlier, she took KOS-MOS’s hand and held it steady so she could sink down onto her fingers. Somehow, she curled them in the exact way that felt so good, that took shape to the inside of her body.

“Don’t move your hand. I’m gonna—I want to do it.”

KOS-MOS blinked at her, but it became clear what she meant when Shion raised her hips up so that she was almost completely off of her before sinking back down.

“Oh, fuck…” Shion’s head pitched down and back up. She moved her hips like that again, biting her lip. “I’m not going to last that long,” she giggled.

“You may orgasm if you wish, Shion.”

Interesting. she was pretty sure she never used that term in front of her, but she was repeating an earlier sentiment in her own words. She must have figured out what ‘coming’ meant.

“I know, but it feels so good.” The slow pace she was using on herself was almost torturous. Her body wanted the release so bad, but she didn’t want it to end, didn’t want this to be the last time this happened. But, the texture KOS-MOS's glove was interesting, and it was hard not to give in even when being completely still. As if KOS-MOS knew this, she pressed her fingers forward a bit, fingertips squeezing against the sensitive place inside her.

“ _Ah!_ Shit—KOS-MOS…!”

“Did I harm you?”

“No,” she breathed. “You just surprised me, that’s all.” She took a second to breathe again before she said, “Kiss me.”

And, KOS-MOS leaned forward so their lips met. They’d done this enough that they were good at it by now—well, at least no one was fumbling or clicking teeth—and instead they fit together perfectly. Shion returned to using KOS-MOS’s hand.

She could imagine this was heaven, being chest to chest and mouth to mouth with someone she cared about so deeply, who cared about _her_ so deeply. She could somehow tell by how they felt totally natural together, like this was always supposed to happen. Shion had to break the kiss to let her head fall back and cry out.

“A _h!_ KOS-MOS—you make me feel so good— _oh_ …”

“You also make me feel good, Shion.” She didn’t smile, but there was a spark of something when she lifted her head up and looked at her. KOS-MOS’s other hand ran up her thigh, over her hip, and rested on the curve of her waist. “You make me feel…wanted.”

“ _Ahn_ —”

KOS-MOS leaned forward and kissed her jaw bone softly, kissed her pulse point. Shion’s hips stuttered on her hand.

“I’m gonna come,” she said breathlessly.

KOS-MOS kissed just below her ear and then whispered softly, “I want you to come for me, Shion.”

She all but crumpled into KOS-MOS’s chest, a hand clapped over her mouth, shaking while KOS-MOS took the opportunity to take over where she left off and rode with her until Shion suddenly snapped up.

“Stop—stop—stop, _oh…_ ” KOS-MOS removed herself from her, and she whispered. “F-Fuck…”

“Shion.”

Shion fell forward and brought KOS-MOS down to the floor with her, cupping her cheeks and kissing her in a more chaste manner than before.

“I love you, KOS-MOS.”

She wasn’t sure where KOS-MOS learned this, but she pet her hair gently. It felt nice.

“I’m not sure I understand what love is, but—” She let out a soft breath that was uncharacteristic for her. “I do feel compelled to say I love you as well.”

Shion felt like she could cry, or maybe that was because she had already started crying.

KOS-MOS sat them both up, and Shion's hands covered her face.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be like this…”

“Shion," she said.

That was enough for her to bring her hands down and clutch KOS-MOS’s middle. She cried so hard that it wracked her body, and made her hiccup, and her breath shudder.

“Shion, why are you crying?”

How could she explain to KOS-MOS that she was emotional over being the only one who could awaken emotions in her? Maybe they were linked together like that. Only they could evoke such things from each other.

“It’s because I’m so happy, KOS-MOS. You make me so happy.”

A wisp of a smile appeared for only one moment, or maybe Shion was being too hopeful again. But, she couldn’t believe that there was nothing behind her eyes.

“Thank you, Shion. You make me happy, too.”

In fact, she somehow knew the entire universe was hidden somewhere inside her, as ridiculous as that sounded.


	2. lemons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She can't afford these late nights and staying up, and her tired eyes are signs she's doing way too much, but her mother always said, "When life gives you Lemons, you just work it out." 
> 
> Shion is determined to take this advice to heart.

Shion didn’t know how to get ahold of herself.

Kevin’s death was more than just the death of a co-worker. He was her boyfriend, her lover, her confidant, her mentor.

It was supposed to be a chance of a lifetime. People would die to be in her position.

“First Division? That’s interesting. How did you manage that?”

She turned towards Jin with a scowl she reserved just for him.

“I applied to the Third Division, thank you very much.” She huffed and put the rest of her meager belongings in her suitcase. “Trust me, I want to be working with Realians’, too, but apparently, they really want me working on the project they have in R&D.”

“Interesting. Do you think there’s a reason why?”

“You read into things too much,” she said, zipping her luggage and standing up straight. She adjusted her glasses, which were falling off her nose. “Can’t you at least be happy for me?”

It was her last plea, her last extension of empathy towards her brother. She wanted to be civil with him, but he always managed to crawl under her skin with his remarks.

“I am happy for you,” he said, “but don’t let yourself get too caught up in everything. It’s best to be skeptical, especially considering all Vector’s been caught up with.”

She growled, “What are you talking about? Vector is as reputable as any other company. Just leave me alone.”

“Do you think they made a mistake?”

It was the wrong thing to say. She huffed and stomped off, wheeling her bag behind her. The front door slammed shut.

How dare he? This was her day. She should have been celebrated for this. This was what was right for her.

But, it all went wrong.

There was something about watching everyone you’ve ever loved die. Normally, if you saw that, you’d be sad, right? But, somewhere along the way, she’d forgotten how to feel grief. Sure, she broke down in front of his tombstone. Sure, she screamed at every strike of thunder, but tears never came anymore. That part of her shut off, and she could no longer connect to it.

“ _Shion, are you okay?_ ”

She wasn’t sure why she called her brother.

“Yeah.”

“ _It’s rare that you’d call me_.”

“I know.”

“ _Is work going alright? They have you so busy, I haven’t seen you in years._ ”

“I know.”

He paused, looking to the side awkwardly. Shion solemnly sat in the chair.

“ _Are you going to say anything or just repeat the same thing over and over?_ ”

“You don’t have to be so mean about it.”

“ _Something happened._ ”

Her hair tickled her neck when she looked up at the holographic screen. Her eyes were wide. She was a bit shocked that Jin read her so accurately considering he has the emotional intelligence of a rock.

“How did you know?”

“ _I’ve never seen you so depressed. Not since our parents, at least. If I teased you like that normally, you would have launched into a tirade._ ”

She looked down at her lap again, trying to hold back the emotions that were rising in her.

“The project I’m assigned to. It went wrong.”

“ _Oh. I’m sorry. In what way? Were you fired?_ ”

“No…I…I lost almost my whole division. And, I lost…my boyfriend.”

“ _You mean they were killed? And,_ boyfriend _?_ ”

She huffed, shaking her head.

“Out of all that, you’re shocked that I had a boyfriend?”

“You—well…nevermind. But, you didn’t answer my question. Did they die?”

“Y-Yes. She woke up and went berserk.”

“ _She?_ ”

Shion ignored the question.

“I had to destroy two years of work. Well, technically we could salvage 80% of the prototype, but still, it’s an enormous setback.”

“ _Out of all that, you’re upset about the time loss?_ ”

“I-I mean, no, but it’s easier to think about it like that…”

“ _I know I always say this, but you should really take up the therapeutic options that Vector offers. I’m not a fan of their business practices, but they do a good job taking care of their employees_.”

The thought absolutely terrified her. She couldn’t let herself think about back then. If she thought about it, she would break, and she had to not break.

Finally, she got angry.

“You know, you can offer moral support without accusing me of being a nutcase.”

“ _Shion, don’t be ridiculous. It’s alright to have problems with the past. In fact, it would be odd if you were completely fine with it. What you saw was deeply traumatic and is bound to have a lasting impact on you._ ”

She can’t handle this conversation.

“Jin, stop. I don’t need a lecture."

“ _Shion…_ ”

"I knew I shouldn’t have called,” she muttered before switching off the monitor. She closed her eyes.

( _I should have known better._ )

Even though she loved shoving everything to the back of her mind, it began to take a toll on her, especially after the Gnosis attack on the Woglinde and all of the issues with the Zohar. It was becoming difficult to focus on work—well, besides attending to KOS-MOS.

Shion was walking down one of the halls of the Elsa when she became so dizzy that her knees buckled.

“ _Hah—_ ”

“Chief! Are you okay?”

She had to brace herself on the wall so she didn’t fall down.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just have a headache,” she said, turning so that her back was against the wall instead of her shoulder. She sucked in a breath, but her exhale was shaky.

“A—uh—a headache? I’m sure there are some nano-scripts somewhere—”

Allen always cared too much. She liked him a lot, but the attention was invasive sometimes, almost like she’d had men give her invasive attention before. He meant well, though. He was a good boy. She held nothing against him.

“No, Allen, it’s okay.” She rolled her head over the steel behind her and smiled. “It happens from time to time. It’ll fade eventually. Don’t get so worked up about it.”

She knew she was short to people who cared about her and sought affection from those who wanted to hurt her, but it wasn’t always clear which one was happening at any given time.

Allen gave her a concerned look. “If you’re sure.”

She also knew that whatever had shut off her sadness was also what was making her have dizzy spells. It wasn’t natural to be so numbed out but—Mom, Dad, Miltia, Kevin, almost her entire R&D team…

Even though she had just insisted she was fine, her headache turned back to disorientation, and she lost her balance. Luckily, Allen was close enough that he could grab her as she pitched forward.

“Chief!”

Her head swam for a few more moments. All she could get out was a groan.

“Hey, don’t pass out on me right after you said that nothing was wrong.”

“…Sorry.” She exhaled heavily. “I think I need to…sit down.”

They’d been going to analyze some new data collected from KOS-MOS’s OS and so luckily all they had to do was take the lifts to the maintenance lab. Once in the room, Allen led her over to the bench and carefully placed her down.

“Please take it easier, Chief. You’re overworking yourself again.”

That was a weird thing for him to say considering she felt like she was _underworking_. Maybe something was wrong, but she didn’t want to think about it. If she thought about it, she’d break, and she had to not break.

“I’m okay. I just need to rest for a second…”

Shion felt her eyes beginning to roll back and her eyelids become heavy.

“Sure.”

It sounded like Allen didn’t believe her, but she couldn’t focus on that because she lost consciousness right afterward.

* * *

And, then, she woke up and had sex with KOS-MOS.

* * *

“She’s making out with KOS-MOS.”

The three of them looked up from their place at one of the diner tables.

“What?”

“I walked in on the Chief making out with KOS-MOS!” He sounds dazed.

“Oh.”

“Oh? What do you mean, ‘ _oh?_ ’”

Tony and Hammer looked at each other and back at Allen. chaos conspicuously put his hand in front of his mouth to hold back a laugh.

“Is it really that surprising?” Hammer frowned.

“Huh?”

“She clearly has a thing for her.” When Allen continued to look confused, he said, “What, you haven’t noticed?”

“E-Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I mean, why do you think she’s so obsessed with her? And, honestly, who can blame her? KOS-MOS is hot.”

“B-But, she’s an _android!_ ”

“Yeah? Some people fall in love with Realians.”

“And, a girl!”

“ _Yeah_ …she might be into girls. That’s also a thing that happens.”

“But, she—“

“I know this is hard for you, Allen, but maybe you’re barking up the wrong tree.” Tony stood and slapped a hand on his back in commiseration. “Not to hit below the belt, but she barely pays attention to you as a friend, let alone as someone she has a crush on. But, whenever KOS-MOS says her name, she softens up right away.”

Hammer added, “And, she’s _all_ Shion talks about. It’s always, ‘Where is KOS-MOS?’ ‘I’m worried about KOS-MOS,’ ‘I have to go work on KOS-MOS—’”

“Maybe ‘ _work on_ ’ means something else entirely.”

The two of them burst into laughter, but chaos stood from where he’d been observing and walked over to the heartbroken Allen.

“Regardless of Shion, you deserve to have someone who cares about you just as much as you do for them.”

“But, the Chief…” He almost sounded like he was going to cry.

“Forget it,” Tony interrupted. “Unless you can manifest giant machine guns and enormous bazonkers, I don’t think you have a chance.”

Allen’s face flushed a couple of shades of red, his hand flying up to his face to cover it. Without another word, he turned and ran out of the room. chaos thought it was best to follow him, especially considering he had consoled him previously on the Durandal about similar issues.

He hated to see anyone upset because of fate.

* * *

“How can I ever compete with KOS-MOS?”

Allen put his head in his hands.

“You can’t, kid.” Captain Matthews didn’t give a shit about stupid love quarrels, but he was stuck on a ship with this guy and yadda yadda yadda. “She practically made her own pin-up doll, and there’s no way it wasn’t on purpose.”

He sighed, feeling resigned.

Matthews continued, “A chick who is into a sexy robot she designed isn’t someone to mess with, anyway. You dodged a bullet, in my opinion.”

“Do you think she’s gay?”

“How the hell would I know?”

“I don’t know! I was just asking. I’m not good with this stuff.”

The Captain forwned, annoyed. He was hoping that something would save him from this conversation.

Luckily, that was when chaos walked into the cabin.

Allen looked up to see who’d come in, only to look back down. “Have you come to make fun of me, too?”

Matthews shot chaos a look that said, ‘thank you for saving me,’ and made his way out of there. chaos took the opportunity to sit next to Allen on the bed he was on.

“Of course not. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m…fine. Just upset. And, embarrassed.” He sighed. “How long have you known?”

chaos wasn’t sure how to break it to him.

“Since I’ve known her.”

“What?! Really?!”

He smiled very softly. It was a knowing smile. “It’s something you get a sense of after a while.”

“I clearly missed that class.”

“I’m sorry, Allen. It’s a difficult thing to bring up spontaneously…and not really my business, anyway. I was hoping Shion would tell you first, but I’m not sure she’s aware of her feelings toward KOS-MOS, yet. Or, at least, she’s unaware of the impact that sort of thing entails.”

“Just my luck.”

“My advice is that this is for the best. There’s no worse heartache than chasing after someone who doesn’t love you back.” He puts his hand on his shoulder again. “You’ll meet someone, and it’ll be easy and natural, and you won’t have to be stressed out about being around them.”

Once again, he looked like he’s going to cry.

“I just love her so much.”

“What you feel isn’t ‘love.’ It’s pining. I don’t mean to be harsh. All I’m trying to say is that love that is unrequited isn’t actually real romantic love.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“It’ll get better as time passes. And, I know you’re a good enough person that you won’t hold it against either of them.”

“Thanks, chaos,” he said.

“No problem, Allen. I know you’ll be okay.”

chaos smiled, but this time, it was a bit bigger.

* * *

“Shion.”

She woke up to realize she had passed out at her desk. KOS-MOS had said her name rather loudly or at least loud enough to shock her out of her dreams.

(Her dreams were always tinged red, and they had been ever since she was a kid. She had never understood why.)

She lifted her head and blinked first at KOS-MOS, then at her computer screen, and then at KOS-MOS again. She mumbled, “Good morning, KOS-MOS.”

“Shion, what is wrong? Do you have a physical ailment?”

“I don’t think so. I think I just fell asleep.” She put a hand to her head, which was still aching. “But, I have been feeling off lately, so it’s possible.”

“You should seek the assistance of MOMO as she can analyze your physiological functions with greater accuracy and detail than I am equipped to.”

Shion smiled, stood up, and ignored the light-headed feeling she got while doing so.

“Thanks, KOS-MOS. You’re so sweet.” She gave her a peck on the cheek. KOS-MOS’s hand reached up to touch the place where Shion’s lips met her artificial skin.

Regardless of the strange circumstances and her lethargy, she still was riding the thrill of her feelings being openly requited, and it quickly woke her up. It buzzed in her mind and pricked her skin. All she wanted to do was sit in a room all day with her, and kiss and cuddle and hug, and…

But, she had work to do. Or, at least, she should let MOMO give her a check-up. Well, maybe she could compromise.

“Do you want to come with me? Besides charging, I’m not sure what else there is for you to do. Oh, and you could help with dishes after dinner.”

“I would like to stay by your side, yes.”

Shion was so glad the feeling was mutual.

* * *

MOMO frowned.

“I can’t detect anything wrong. Your blood pressure is a little low but still within normal range. It could just be genetics.”

KOS-MOS looked between the two of them curiously.

“Yeah, I figured that would probably be the case,” she sighed, once again putting a hand to her forehead. She’d had a headache for so long that she kept forgetting she had one.

“I think you just need rest,” MOMO said. “You’ve been working yourself so hard lately.”

“I don’t know.” She was full of sighs that day. “I feel like I’m lagging behind, honestly…”

“You might be a little burned out. When was the last day you took off?”

She squinted and thought about it for a long time but was still drawing a blank.

“I don’t remember.”

“See?” MOMO frowned deeper. “My diagnosis would be that you're overworked, and the treatment is to rest.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

KOS-MOS finally spoke up.

“Shion, you are saddened by news that is neutral or could be interpreted as positive. What is the reason for this?”

(She couldn’t say out loud that the only reason she continued to work herself half to death was because, if she stopped for one minute, she’d break, and she had to not break. But, she also didn’t want to lie to KOS-MOS…)

“Um…I guess the idea of not working makes me anxious.”

MOMO tilted her head. “Is there anything bothering you? If you’re upset about something, we can talk.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m fine,” she thought for a moment. “Maybe I could use a nano-script to sleep better. I know Allen uses them sometimes.”

“If you’re feeling down, a depressant isn’t exactly the best idea. It could make you feel worse.”

She snapped, “I’m not depressed!”

The volume of her voice visibly startled both girls, but of course, only MOMO _looked_ shocked. KOS-MOS just sort of flinched.

“I…never said you were, Shion.”

It was funny that she didn’t blush from KOS-MOS asking if she was aroused, but there she was with a bright red face.

“O-Oh, I guess you’re right.”

“I can make dinner and give you a little break from all that. Standing for long periods of time can also be taxing, especially if you're already exhausted.”

“And, I will do the dishes as you previously suggested.”

“…Thanks, guys.”

“Of course.” It was the first time during the conversation that MOMO had smiled. “Try to take it easy for a few days. You deserve it.”

( _Do I?_ )

Shion felt like even more energy had just been sucked from her body, but it wasn’t because of her theoretical ailments.

She didn’t like thinking about her mother for obvious reasons, but she had a phrase she would repeat rather often, which was “When life gives you lemons, you work it out.” Nothing about lemonade. Just work it out. And, Shion was determined to take that advice to heart. She always threw everything she had at every problem, so maybe she could apply that energy to ‘taking it easy.’

“Yeah,” she murmured.

But, she doubted it.


End file.
